Why does Loneliness Feel Like Wildfire

My heart being saddened by this rainy day
as I sit by myself on this rock of memories.
Even a small hint of anger
I can feel rising from the depths and into the air!

I love passion, but a lot of time it's bites me in the rear!
I love life but life can chant a dance of fear and messes.
Tangling what I thought I knew
into a blank stare from out my eyes.

I was told once not to worry when these messes roam freely.
I was told to think of the pretty girl I loved.
But yet those messes are all around
and the girl I loved cheated on me.
So this makeshift happiness I protrude on my lips,
darkens because no-one is there!

So yes I do sit on this rock and weep,
Most of the time I drowned in sorrow
and the sweet agonies that befell me,
pleasing the darkness and all my worries.

I just atone for the things I've lost
Blame it on myself who binds this fury very well..
Crying out the names of people who have drug me down so deep.
My body full of pains that I mostly wish to keep.

The big part of me wishes I could just die;
ranting and raving to god and devil,
and ask them why they weren't there either.
I'll ask them why they both lied.
Why they told me that with them everything will be ok?